Healthy Leaders


Tell the Boys When to Leave

Jess MacCallumJess MacCallum

Is there anything more annoying and beautiful than a group of men? The loudness, the bodily functions, the need to best each other! It’s somehow tribal and necessary for a man to have comrades and competitors all bunched up together and ready to trample the unsuspecting. Glorious.

But it’s your responsibility, Mister, to make sure your home is not overrun with Larrys and Daves and Ralphs. They may be great guys, but don’t let them overstay their welcome. If you do, your wife is going to start questioning where your loyalty lies. I promise.

Proverbs 20:6 says, “Many a man proclaims his own loyalty, but who can find a trustworthy man?” Your wife is asking this question whether you can hear it or not!

The Apostle Peter, who took his wife on ministry trips (1 Cor. 9:5) said, “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect” (1 Peter 3:7).

It’s all a matter of priority. Most of us men seem to get this whole thing the hard way, after the silent treatment or several arguments. Ultimately, you can choose whether this will be a source of great tension or a means to build intimacy by reinforcing personal loyalty. Here are some helpful ideas you can practice – starting today.

If you have clueless friends, difficult family members, or intrusive in-laws – (like any of those could ever become a possibility!) – you may want to sit them down privately and explain the new lay of the land. It should go something like this: “I put my wife first in my house. This little chat is my idea, and I’d like you to have time to adjust so that I don’t ever have to embarrass you at a social function – because I will never take your side over my wife’s.”

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