Paul Sohn
When my dad retired as the president of Samsung, Korea’s largest electronics company. I always felt pressure as I was growing up to follow in his footsteps, to prove to myself and him that I was a “somebody.”
Questions like, “What are you going to do after graduation?” or “Do you have any jobs lined up?” and “Have you thought about what you want to be when you grow up?” haunted me. Every time a friend, family member, professor, or colleague asked me what I was planning to do, I would give them the same impeccably rehearsed 30-second elevator pitch:
“My dream is to become the youngest Chief Human Resources Officer (CHRO) of a Fortune 500 company.”
Every day was a hustle. In college, I spent countless hours studying and pulling all-nighters, working to reach that elusive 4.0 GPA. I excelled in extracurricular activities ‒ I created new student clubs and worked in student government. The rest of my hours revolved around perfecting my resume so I could land that dream job.
I was doing it ‒ I was inching my way closer and closer to my dream job.
Then, a breakthrough. I secured an enviable internship ‒ and later a full-time job ‒ at the world’s largest aerospace company. I joined important meetings with senior leaders and led transformational company-wide initiatives. I was making over $75,000 a year at the age of 25. I had one of the best health care plans in the country, a matching 401(k) plan, and long-term job security.
While my friends grew jealous of my quick climb into the corporate world, my family was delighted by my worldly success and would rave about my achievements to all their friends.
I was laser-focused on improving my performance. All my efforts went into developing myself professionally so that I could be a star player at work. I devoured management and leadership books and connected with reputable business leaders to learn about the latest business trends. I developed a detailed strategic plan for my life. I put a plaque on the wall of my bedroom with drawings of myself receiving awards, inspiring me to become the youngest CHRO of a Fortune 500 company.
I had it all figured out. Everything was perfect, except for one thing: I was actually miserable. As I was driving my BMW 3 Series down the I-5, I wished I could just start my life all over again. I was even willing to trade my car and my job for a new life.
Of course, I never admitted this to anyone, not even myself. How could I?
All my life, I dove head-first into things with the hopes of reaching a dream, until my own passion and determination started to fade. The harder I worked, the more I felt disconnected and disenchanted with my work. Work life wasn’t the world-changing work I imagined it to be. Rather, it was reduced to improving small things that seemed inconsequential.
In addition, I was surrounded by a toxic workplace culture that encouraged a “just enough” attitude. I felt like a mindless zombie, drowning in the currents of purposelessness. Every day was a daily grind. Work devolved into a monotonous set of thankless tasks, and I often wondered where my life was leading me.
Many times, I thought my life as a 20-“something” felt like a 20-“nothing.” Living every moment with an unbearable sense of emptiness led me to ask inconvenient questions: What am I supposed to do with my life? What do I want to be? What are my goals, my ambitions, my vision for my future?
Jesus, Take the Wheel of my BMW.
As I cried out to God, I felt as if God were saying that I was asking the wrong questions. Everything in my life was about me. I was the captain of my soul, the master of my fate. Despite being a Jesus follower, I had left no place for God on my ship. I was the commander; God, the first mate. I had somehow fallen into an attitude of expecting God to be the magical genie that would answer my wants.
One of my mentors recommended that I read Os Guinness’s signature book, “The Call.” It turned my life upside down and changed how I thought, giving me a refreshing perspective on how to view life. Up until this point in my life, success was measured by possessions and prestige. But “The Call” offered a radically different idea of life and success, where meaning and purpose are gained by discovering and stewarding God’s calling in my life. I realized that God wanted me to respond to the call ‒ God’s call ‒ to live intentionally for Him.
Ignited by a newly consuming passion, I started a journey to discover my calling. I spent the next few years reading dozens and dozens of books on this topic. I read classics such as theologian Gordon Smith’s “Courage and Calling”, academic leader Parker Palmer’s “Let Your Life Speak”, and entrepreneur Jon Acuff’s “Start.” They gave me meaningful insights that challenged my vision of calling. I realized that living out my calling required me to consider the hardwiring and integration of my personality, gifts, passion for the need of the world, and my personal life story.
It wasn’t long until the direction of my life started to change. It was as if I were guided by a compass that pointed to true north.
Now, I was attempting to align every aspect of my life toward my calling to equip, encourage, and empower the next generation of leaders. Every day, I was traveling closer and closer to living my calling in life intentionally. I created a timetable and outlined all the activities in my life. I wrote down everything that occupied my time. I dissected each activity and asked whether the relationship, activity, or engagement helped me grow closer to my calling or distracted me.
Some of these decisions weren’t easy. I ended a three-year dysfunctional relationship and eliminated habits of binge eating in order to live out my calling. I came up with dozens of things that I had to either start or abandon so I could live with greater intentionality.
But I knew there was one more crazy thing I had to do. I left my steady, high-paying Fortune 500 job, without having another job lined up. My plan was to move in with my parents and pursue full-time graduate studies as I sought to discern my next career trajectory.
Instead, just 48 hours after I submitted my resignation, I got into a phone conversation with a Facebook friend whom I had never met in person. As I shared about quitting my job, he said he had done the same thing several years ago. There were so many parallels between our stories, faith, and vision, that I felt something providential in our conversation.
After a few more conversations, I was offered the position as a leadership consultant with GiANT Worldwide, a global leader development consultancy. I realized that this was my dream job, my calling. Since my transition to consulting, I have been able to work with leaders of all shapes and sizes to help them become leaders worth following. Now, I wake up every day feeling like I’m doing what I was born to do.
Had I not mustered the courage to risk my comfortable life and pursue my calling, I would have missed seeing what God had been orchestrating all my life. I never planned to work for GiANT. I didn’t even choose GiANT, but GiANT chose me. One difficult response to God’s call literally turned my world upside down and made it all worth it.