This is Part 1 in a series on Listening Over my life, I’ve been fortunate to work with many leaders who are older and wiser. Sometimes when people have that much experience, they’re tempted to be “advice dispensers” – to always need to educate, direct, and caution everyone around them. But many of the leaders I’ve […]
Adrian Pei
As leaders, doing what’s “most needed or important,” and serving others and the greater good, often requires doing the hard things in life, whether it’s confronting somebody or holding them accountable for their actions.
Adrian Pei
Looking around at the most relevant and cutting edge ideas about leadership today, I’m guessing these two ‒ patience and pain ‒ probably wouldn’t make the list..
Adrian Pei
When a leader admits his or her weaknesses in front of an audience, I think to myself: “That’s great that you see that and can articulate it so well. But how will you follow that up? What kinds of steps will you take over the next few months and years in response to what you just shared with everyone? Are you sharing because you want [...]
Adrian Pei
I have yet to meet a leader who hasn’t doubted him or herself at some point in their lives. Yet so often, we can feel pressure to have things “all together.” Or when we make the same mistakes again, we feel we should have learned our lesson already. We feel we should have “arrived.” But is the journey […]
Adrian Pei
Do you ever worry that if you give to others too much, you won’t have anything left at the end of the day? Author Dr. John Townsend addresses this common concern and some misconceptions about love in his book Loving People, which I recommend. Dr. Townsend writes that it is normal to feel tired when we love […]
Adrian Pei
I can still recall walking out of the leadership meeting, feeling deflated and invisible. They just don’t get me, and what I’m trying to do, I thought to myself. I felt frustrated, indignant, and angry. And then I did the exact same thing to a group of younger leaders. I neglected to value and honor their […]
Adrian Pei
When was the last time somebody called you on the phone just to ask how you were doing? No particular item of business to discuss … but just to check in? Or, the last time you were new to a group setting, who (if anyone) approached you to introduce themselves? From my experience, these kinds […]
Adrian Pei
Here’s my hypothesis: the more we talk, the less we notice. What do you think? Over my life, I’ve been fortunate to work with many leaders who are older and wiser. Sometimes when people have that much experience, they’re tempted to be “advice dispensers” – to always need to educate, direct, and caution everyone around them. […]
Adrian Pei
Four questions I love to ask, and three unexpected benefits that come with them. According to a well-known story, Nobel Prize winner Isadore Rabi shares how his mother unknowingly taught him to be a scientist. He explains, “Every other child would come back from school and be asked, ‘What did you learn today?’ But my […]
Adrian Pei
I’m sometimes shocked at how little I have to actually do in order to make an impact on another person. When I coach leaders, I often find myself: Repeating back to them what I heard them say Simply acknowledging the challenge or value of what they’re doing Over half the time, I find that these things are […]
Adrian Pei
In the fifth chapter of Facing the Demands of Leadership, I write about the leadership skill of “learning from our mistakes.” Let me tell you a personal story about this. In college I had a “falling out” of sorts with a friend. For years after college I didn’t see him and it bothered me that […]
Adrian Pei
The first chapter in my new book and guide, Facing the Demands of Leadership, covers the skill of “connecting with pain.” In this chapter, I write about one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in leadership: Logic is overrated. It really is. I’m a pretty rational person by nature, but over the past few years I’ve learned […]
Adrian Pei
In the third chapter (“Asking for Help”) of my new leadership guide, Facing the Demands of Leadership, I write about the idea of “asking rather than assuming.” So often we might need help on a work project but never reach out to others – because we assume they wouldn’t have the time or motivation. This […]
Adrian Pei
This is part 3 in a 4-part series on leading in weakness. Part 1 – Letting Others Be Strong For Us: From Insecurity to Generosity Part 2 – When Our Best Isn’t Enough: From Control to Acceptance Part 4 – From Expectation to Gratitude: The Greatest Poverty of All When we talk about leading in weakness, one […]
Adrian Pei
If your life is motivated by your ambition to leave a legacy, what you’ll probably leave as a legacy is ambition. (Rich Mullins) For most of my life, I’ve been surrounded by ambitious people, but never as much as since I’ve been in full-time ministry. It seems everybody wants to do, have and be more … […]
Adrian Pei
The second chapter of my new book and guide, Facing the Demands of Leadership, deals with “seeking regular feedback.” If I had to list one reason why feedback is important, it would be this: Feedback helps us to be more in touch with reality. In April 2017, United Airlines faced a public relations nightmare when a security […]
Adrian Pei
I like to think and write about leadership a lot – I love that there are so many ways to look at it. My passion is to make unique connections between these insights, and raise important questions for leaders to consider. So how about starting with this: Do you consider yourself a leader? I’ve noticed that this […]
Adrian Pei
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about indirectness, especially in communication. Having worked in many Asian American and cross-cultural settings over the past two decades, I frequently hear people say that “Asians can be very indirect.” While I’ve experienced some of this first-hand, I never knew what to really do after that [...]
Adrian Pei
Our boss just doesn’t get it, or doesn’t appreciate us enough. Our parents or siblings are creating dysfunction in our family. We’re deeply disappointed in our political leaders. We’ve all been there, and gotten a taste of “bad” leadership at some point. And of course, we’ve probably all made our own share of mistakes along […]
Adrian Pei
